Shhh . . .

Shhh. . . The lights just came back on. If you make too much noise, they will go out again! Shhh. I am serious! No cheering. No celebrating. No cavorting. Breathe. Don't yell. Quietly experience what it feels like to have the electricity restored. I know it feels good, I know it has been almost 24 hours. I know you want to jump for joy. But resist the urge. Be quiet! Shhh. 

The children tiptoe around our casita, quite literally, sweet smiles of joy, as they shush one another. Shhh.

In a world where losing electricity is not a rare event -- particularly during rainy season-- our beliefs about what makes the electricity go away, what brings it back, and what makes it linger are not trivial matters. Rumors abound: the rain was torrential up the mountain, lightning struck a tower, an important pole fell down, the river grew and knocked over a key component of the plant. 

The truth is slippery. 

At times, when the rain is pounding on the roof, the thunder and lightning unremitting, any of these explanations seem perfectly acceptable. At other times --  for example. last night -- the sky clear, the weather eerily calm, "flash" the lights were gone, and we were left in darkness. When the electricity returned fifteen minutes later, we knew neither why it cut out nor how long it might remain. And perhaps that is the crux of the matter. 

We all long for understanding.  A hint of control. And truth.

*** 

I just love creencias -- the word for "beliefs" in Spanish. In this context, I use the term to specifically connote widely held beliefs that are culturally codified. Creencias are present in every corner of the human world. Often they run so deep they become sacred. Untouchable. But to outsiders, they can feel so foreign that they take us aback. They may seem ridiculous. When we question them, we ourselves are questioned.

This particular creencia, the one about being quiet when the lights come back so that they do not immediately cut out again, fills me with sentimentality. As the lights return in 2023, I flash back to 1999 --  to young children rejoicing in light, describing in whispers their strongly held belief, their truth. And flash forward, as their own children tiptoe around my house, fingers to lips, teaching my children the same.

Here are a few more examples of local creencias: 

• There was a particular bird singing at dawn for several weeks behind our house, and two different neighbors told me that the bird's song predicted a forthcoming death. That week, a young man in the neighboring village who had had gastric bypass surgery, died after a short illness.  
• Cold water causes harm if you drink it when you are overheated. No ice or chilled beverages should be consumed after strenuous exercise. (As a side note, the children love coming to our house on hot days and scraping (literally) our freezer for ice because I do not have such restrictions at our house).
• Women who are on their period should not beat the egg whites for meringue, as is typically used for frosting here. Why? The meringue will be unsuccessful. Yup, strongly held creencia.  

When I identify creencias from another culture -- which happens often enough here as a certified outsider--  it challenges me to examine my beliefs that may be foreign to those from a different culture. To be honest, they can be so ingrained, so buried, that they are hard to see at first. And so, I pull out my proverbial mirror and reflect upon culturally held norms that may seem strange to those whom I am currently living among.  Here are some simple creencias I can think of from my own culture:

• Children benefit from having a bedtime. 
• You should not swim for at least a half hour after eating because you will get a stomach ache.
• Getting wet and/or cold will give you a cold.
• Cutting out dairy and/or gluten will make you feel better, from whatever it is that is ailing you.

How do creencias shape our behaviors? How are creencias culturally reinforced?  How does the internet reinforce or disrupt creencias? How does what our mothers or grandmothers taught us stay with us, despite years of education, perhaps even lived experience to the contrary?

Take my first creencia, for example, that children benefit from a scheduled bedtime. Here, in rural Ecuador, the concept of a bedtime is foreign. Even bizarre. Here, children of all ages stay awake until the  family goes to bed, often after 10pm or later, after a typically late dinner. Even on school nights. Of course, the family sleeps together, multiple family members to a bed, multiple beds to a room. After a short night, they also rise together, often at dawn.

As I tuck my younger children into their separate beds at 8:45pm after reading our book and singing a song, we hear the gleeful shrieks of the children next door playing outside. After I send Dillon to bed with frustration when he again exceeds 10pm reading limit, our neighbor, Leandry, age 13, knocks frantically on the door to tell me about his new baby bunnies. As I lug my drowsy children away from a late-night party, children much younger than them lay strewn, sleeping on benches and across laps. 

To be clear, our  life rhythm is shaped around our kids being in bed by 9pm at the latest -- them getting sufficient hours of sleep -- 10 at least --  to confront tomorrow properly rested, giving Paul and me an hour at least to breathe before we ourselves succumb to slumber. I, an overeducation physician-mom, believe that children need sleep adequate sleep. I believe, so strongly, in fact, that -- at the behest of our principal --  I have given talks my children's school about the importance of sleep. 

But what if what I believe is just that, a creencia? What if my creencia is shaping my reality rather than the other away around? That, in fact, the lights will stay or go regardless of whether we celebrate or whisper. That, in fact, the bird will sing and people will die because that is what people do. That, in fact, waiting or not waiting, some kids will get stomach cramps when swimming after eating and others will not. That, in fact, the child will learn and grow and be grumpy or not whether or not they get 7 or 8 or 10 hours of sleep. 

Then, of course, all that I hold to be true is open for debate. Or at least for deep questioning. And, quite frankly, that feels a little scary. So maybe I will stop right here. And say again, just for the record, I do love creencias.