Indulgence

Delicious chocolate croissants and cinnamon roles from Taita

Last March, Brynna and I went to visit my good friend, Alana, and her family in Taos, New Mexico. Alana is one of the most intentional human beings I know -- and definitely the most organized. During our visit, Alana shared with me that her 2022 New Year's Resolution was a bit non-traditional: this year, Alana was going to actively work on being more indulgent.

I was immediately intrigued. Most resolutions involve people depriving themselves of something (e.g. sugar, ice cream) and/or requiring something of themselves (e.g. working out three times per week, calling their mom more frequently). This notion of increasing my own indulgence resonated with me.

Alana and I share a few common characteristics -- unfortunately, organizational skills are not one of them -- we are both family doctors, moms of young children; we both enjoy digging into scientific evidence, and we are both doers. We also like to do things correctly. And timely. One thing that neither of us is very good at is giving ourselves over to things, particularly indulgent things. Neither of us had particularly indulgent childhoods or permissive parents, and part of the discipline of being a successful doctor and mom for both of us seems to involve a measure of deprivation. (For those wondering, it is not a coincidence that neither Alana nor I are much for indulging in mind-altering substances like alcohol or marijuana).

And so, with less intention than Alana, I decided to embrace (steal?) her resolution. I cannot say I've done a consistent job of it, but I have certainly thought a lot about indulgence this year Perhaps it makes easier to ponder indulgence when you've moved your family to the middle of nowhere without potable water, hot showers, and sourdough bread. But even before this time away, I have been integrating this notion into my life. What does it mean to indulge? What is excess? When is excess okay? Why is my impulse almost always an immediate no? When should it be yes? And when should I indulge my children?

This brings me to our time here in Cuenca, which in and of itself, has been quite indulgent in comparison with our "regular" life back in rural La Josefina. Just by virtue of being in the city, we have had more access to treats and sweets, but also to supermarket goods, reliable internet (including movies), and even art and culture. The simple fact that we can walk out our front door and buy any array of goods or services feels indulgent.

Below is a list of indulgences we have taken the past two weeks in Cuenca. As I review them, they are hardly over the top. I am well aware that almost all of the list is food-based (a product of having been three months in a place where routine foods have been widely unavailable). Perhaps I need to expand my definition of indulgence?

Aged cheese: Cheese is something that Dillon and I have missed the most the last three months. Yes, we both quite like the queso fresco available in La Josefina, but boy have we craved good, hard cheese. And brie. With crackers. And there was plenty of cheese here in Cuenca. From cheddar to manchego to brie. The cheese section was almost overwhelming. Yum! Happy tummies.

The Supermarket: There are literally no supermarkets where we live, even in La Maná, and so yes, we took multiple trips to the Super Maxi (equivalent to a Safeway, but definitely luxurious for us) to buy random indulgent food items including, but not limited to: Honey Bunches of Oats (ridiculously expensive and only purchased in honor of Dillon's b-day), ultra-pasteurized low-fat milk, vanilla yogurt, Lay's potato chips, peanut butter (which wasn't that good), tortilla chips and salsa, cheese (see above), corn tortillas for tacos, Tajín, lunch meats, and a loaf of wheat sandwich bread. I was actually surprised about how short our list of wants and desires turned out to be, considering how big our eyes were when we first walked in.

Ice cream not every day, but most days in Cuenca. I have nothing more to add except that we have had a lot of good ice cream here, but we all agree that we do miss our little ice cream truck in La Josefina.

Bakery Taita: We discovered this amazing bakery just a couple of days into our stay in Cuenca, and I won't tell you how many times we have frequented, but it is more than few. Ecuadorians make and eat a lot of fresh bread, but this bread was as close to croissants and pastries at home as we have had since arriving in Ecuador. Our family's favorite? The chocolate croissant, though Dillon loved their mora-filled bread as well. As I paid the cashier a whopping $2.49 for the six or seven breads we had picked out, I turned to Dillon and said, "Just one of these would cost $2.49 in the States." Breadatarians. We are definitely breadatarians.

Family movies: We are a pretty low screen/no screen family. My kids don't do tablets or phones, also not really video games, and our Kindle Fire (generously gifted us by my co-worker Cherie) is used almost exclusively for graphic novel reading. But we do like to watch movies together as a family. In our Cuencan apartment, we had good internet including Netflix and Disney+, and so we watched The Willoughbies (we loved the book, the movie was bizarr-o) and Honey I Shrunk the Kids (a classic that has aged well). I didn't find myself hankering for screen time after the kids went to bed, and surprisingly, Paul and I didn't indulge in any binge watching. Maybe next time.

Ethnic food: Indian, Ramen and sushi, Mexican, even Boba Tea. Yup, we ate pretty well! As previously noted, we also ate plenty of Ecuadorian almuerzos. I am still craving me some Thai and some California cuisine, and the kids would kill for some orange chicken, but likely those will have to wait until 2024.

The Movies: for Dillon's birthday, we found ourselves at the fancy shopping mall in a really nice movie theater to watch the Minions movie. The stadium seating was brand new, and we even got a bucket of popcorn.

Date night with Paul: one of the benefits of being in Ecuador with the family is that we have a LOT of family time. And we are really mostly loving that. But it's been several months since Paul and I had a couple of hours without our children. Luckily, we met a lovely family (friends of friend) who lives in Cuenca, and their 15-year-old daughter babysat for us last night. We went out for dinner and drinks -- our plan to go salsa dancing was sidelined -- but it was a lovely chance to get a couple of hours with my husband without the kids. And I am feeling grateful.

On top of the above, I have been practicing indulging my kiddos more -- when they ask for seedless green grapes (which are expensive and not the norm here) or another bag of pipas, or a $1 bag of little sweet breads, I am working on saying "yes" more often. Because. . .well, because, why not.

There you have it. Turns out I am still not very good at indulging, but I appreciate Alana's challenge and the perspective it has granted me this year. What is indulgence for you? Could increasing indulgence in your life make you happier and how so?